Question of the Day: Would you honestly leave the house and/or yard?
I got an email last night from Twigmonkey’s father. In the spirit of anonymity, we’ll call him Branchmonkey. So Branchmonkey sends me a nice email about the site and thought he would include a baby photo of our pal twigboobies.
Twigmonkey yammin' it up
I’ve seen this picture before, but the element of surprise still got me to laugh out loud when the picture downloaded. Well played.
Now to get down to business. If you could reach without having to go through a pesky rib removal surgury, would you burn a few sick days every year by staying home and hammering on yourself?
This little bugger pictured above is a real pro. I think he’s somewhat rattled by the camera being in his face, but unphased for the most part. I know if it’s me, I would have all I could do to fold myself in half without passing out or snapping my neck to accomplish this feat, let alone doing it in front of a camera crew. This guy has it mastered and is even trying to squirrel a finger into his dumper.
When I was young and stupid I’d say the same thing that most guys say. “I’d never leave the house.” It would certainly have its perks. I mean you don’t have to say to yourself “Make sure you tell me when, ok?” before kickoff. But to me there are way too many risks involved. You’re in a pretty compromising position and could very well get caught. Not like you’re a remote button click away from switching the tv off “squiggly porn“ if someone walks in. You’re fuckin upside down and tea bagging yourself. A sittin’ duck. Imagine the look on the wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, in-laws, rabbi’s, mailman’s, or Jehovah’s face if they walked up to the door and peered in through the window as you’re rounding third base and about to grand finale yourself? NOT GOOD. A vacuum salesman dream though. “Tired of doing backwards somersaults into the wall?”
-CB
I’d be amazed if we had any readers left after this one.
June 25, 2009 at 9:47 am
I think this site has potential, but is too over the top and offensive to people
June 25, 2009 at 9:52 am
I think writing something like that under the tag “anonymous” is brazen and hardcore.
We appreciate readers, but you could always get your news from ITakeShitWayTooSeriously.com or start your own site, make it politically correct, and then let us know how you’re making out.
SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
June 25, 2009 at 11:27 am
LMFAO. Yes, this site has potential, the potential to piss of the douchebags that find it offensive. If it’s offensive, don’t look. I mean, i’m not rocket scientist or anything, but holy fuck. It’s not like you made the monkey do it! You point out the shit the nutless wonders are scared to.
June 25, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I think Mr June 25th Anonymous is a douche bag who could only DREAM of what intellect goes into this site. Well played Brawn … I myself can’t get enough of this site and tend to check it two to seventeen times a day hoping there might be a tidbit of newness to wonder and behold.
Anonymous >>> get bent and not in a good little monkey doing himself way.
June 25, 2009 at 4:01 pm
I’m with Good ol’ Booma from G-town, I check SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVEEEEEETOWN about 20 times a day for the new updates. This site is better then the morning newspaper with a cup of joe. Keep the good new coming.
June 25, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Well.Well..Well.. Captain Anonymous hooters has checked in with his/her opinion which is encouraged, but I’m going to take that response and wipe my dump rack with it.. Here at 1 SHAVETOWN AVE we love witty banter and comments on our posts, but if you have to hide behind a curtain I would invite you to make your hand into a fist and PUNCH YOUR LUNCH!!!!!
June 26, 2009 at 9:37 am
So you’re all saying this site serves a purpose. It caters to idiots.
Plus it’s written by idiots. The writing is creative and actually decent, but wasted talent on immaturity and smut.
They don’t say what the “nutless” don’t dare, they say what most people are above talking about.
Again, just my humble opinion.
June 26, 2009 at 10:26 am
Batman had the Joker, Bird had Magic, and Shavetown has Wendell Almighty. You’re right, we should just shut down shop, tie our sweater sleeves around our neck, and politely trade recipes and lawn and garden tips.
I hope you continue to stop by daily and are continually pushed to the brink of vomit and tears
June 26, 2009 at 1:27 pm
looks like the legendary “TD” in the old apartment in old town when camps was over for his one night stay at casa de bleeding dog.
June 30, 2009 at 9:09 am
I am just wondering what Anonymous was Googling when he/she stumbled onto Shavetown Ave. And could it be jealousy of our little monkey friend that is fueling his/her hate.
July 6, 2009 at 1:42 pm
[...] you call a monkey sucking his own crank while trying to finger bang himself porn then yes, I guess it is a porn site. But we’re really just looking for an outlet [...]